Men.

Yesterday during a phone conversation that lasted almost 2 hours, a friend and I were heatedly discussing our frustrations concerning men, and women, and then men again, and... you get the picture. People in general make me want to rip my hair out. I figure, I wrote a post about being thankful for women, and I should probably write one about men too.

Today, I am thankful for men.

But first, I want to point out how little the world loves them.

I'm not a historian by any means, and didn't study anthropology in college, but I know a little about the history of how men have been treated in this country and how women have turned that around--and not for the better. For hundreds of years (if not forever) women have been mistreated and demeaned and belittled. There are some disconcerting ads here and here that are pretty straightforward about how the media previously viewed women. And I know it hasn't quite gotten better yet, since (on average) men still get paid more than women, receive more "professional respect" than women, but it does not excuse the way we have started to treat men.

I hate--literally hate--the way our society has portrayed men. I love men, and I think they're great! And I'm not saying that because they're all wonderful people. Trust me, I have been hurt by men, certainly by men in my family along with boyfriends and regular friends and the guy down the street. And yes, my husband too. I have not, in any way, been sheltered from the thoughtless or misogynistic behaviors of men. And when I hear/read/learn about historical or current instances of misogyny it's upsetting and frustrating.

However, I repeat: it does not excuse the way we have started to treat men.

You know, in the early years of organized education, girls weren't allowed to go to school. It was considered to be something "too advanced" for girls, and only appropriate for girls. But sometime around 20 years ago there were studies saying that now boys weren't fit for school, like we'd gotten in wrong all along. (Of course, the real problem is something else entirely, and regards the way in which we manage classrooms and teach lessons. It has nothing to do with boys OR girls) And in the same way that women used to be condescended to in the media, we've switched it over to men.

You can watch this Little Caesar's ad for pizza: click here. That poor man is not only stupid, but everyone in his neighborhood knows it. And then there's this Dunkin Donuts Coffee ad for a sad soul who doesn't know how to find coffee in his own kitchen. And you must keep in mind that these commercials aren't just saying that "men are stupid"--it's, "men are stupid, and women have to tolerantly take care of them." The man who wants to wait for pizza is "owned" by his wife, who suggests Little Caesar's. The man who can't find the coffee is saved by his wife, who knows where the secret stash is, and says, "Awesome," in a sluggish, cave-man voice because clearly his wife is a genius and kitchens are just SO hard to navigate.

Basically the world (or just America) has said, "Women have been treated unfairly forever, so now we're going to have REVEEEENGGE!!"

I'm going to stop here, before I get carried away, because I could. I could rant and rave about this forever. But the real purpose here is not just to defend men, but to show gratitude and appreciation for the men in my life.

I am thankful for my father and brothers, for their humor and affection, for board games and story telling and protecting me.
I am thankful for the other male relatives in my life, the uncles and cousins and grandparents and friends-of-my-brothers for their decency, and always treating me like a person worth talking to and not just a "little sister."
I am thankful for the male friends I had in middle & high school, for their fun-loving spirits, and because we had all finally grown out of that "can't be friends with the opposite sex" phase.
I am thankful for the male friends I made at Trinity, for their genuine and unconditional friendship--for "Bingo" time, and playing Settlers of Catan, for worship nights at the park and coffee houses and trips to the $4 movie theater and to Baker Boys for those awesome cupcakes.
I am thankful for my husband, for the man he is, and the man he will be in the days to come.

(Also... beards.)

They're not perfect. They're not always kind or sensitive or thoughtful. They're downright aggravating! But they deserve my respect, and will always have my love.

.End Day 22.