Mawwiage.

This photo was taken 868 days ago. Or, 2 years, 4 months and 15 days. I could calculate seconds and minutes and hours if I wanted to, but it's not exactly important because today I am thankful for marriage, not just the amount of time I've been experiencing it. 

When you consider that approximately 50% of all marriages (actually, it's only 50% of all first marriages) end in divorce, I've been blessed to witness enduring and incredible marriages. Both sets of grandparents were married for over 50 years. They had never been previously married, and never married again after one of them passed away. Keep in mind, they were from a different generation, one where divorces were less common and definitely less accepted.

My parents, on the other hand, were rare. (They've been married for 36 years now.) I grew up with many friends whose parents were divorced or remarried and the thought of switching houses every other weekend was mind-boggling--because as a kid, that's what I thought about. I thought about how strange it might be to have two bedrooms, and how sad I would feel if I had to choose which parent to spend Christmas with. As I matured I began to feel the weighty sorrow of my friends, who knew their parents didn't love each other anymore, who were old enough to understand the agony of a broken family. In addition to that sudden empathy I was also awakened to the respectable solidity of my parents' marriage. 

Naturally, I've experienced wonderful marriages outside my immediate family (although I seriously wish both of my brothers would get hitched. Someday.) Aunts, uncles, people at church, old family friends, they all showed me real marriages. Real marriages do not always include glamorous houses or surprise weekend getaways and every conversation is not littered with "Oh, darling, you're so enchanting!" or "Yes, my sweet, anything for you, you're my sugar-cupcake!" Arguments happen and they are normal and they do not mean you chose the wrong spouse or that your marriage is over. 

I'm thankful for marriage because it is a constant source of encouragement and exasperation, support and snark (my specialty is snark), friendship and frustration, laughter and lapses of sanity. It offers a challenge to your intellect, your patience, your sense of self, your preconceived thoughts about the world, your prejudices and your flaws. And in the same space it offers comfort, so that when the world you thought you knew becomes too much, when you are sick or exhausted or confused, someone is there to hold you and help you back onto your feet.

I know that not all marriages are wonderful. Some of them turn out to be quite awful--but that's because of the people in the marriage and the choices those people make, not because marriage itself is a negative thing. Marriage, when you choose to make it work, when you choose to love the other person despite how unlovable they might be or how unloved you feel, is beautiful, and I am thankful.

 Despite its challenges, its trials, its power to absolutely exhaust and overwhelm me, 

I am thankful for all 74,995,200 seconds (or 1,249,920 minutes or 20,832 hours or 124 weeks) 

because every second, minute and hour is still filled with love.