I've been given authority over just a few things in my life. They are not 'few and far between' but they don't happen all the time, and when they do, they are usually in conjunction with someone else's jurisdiction as well as mine.
So I'm in charge of this... thing right now. And, like I said, someone else has jurisdiction over and another person has jurisdiction over both of us. But I'm mainly in charge of it. I am supposed to coordinate it and arrange for things to be done. This would be immensely less complicated if I was a more organized and less artsy person, but alas... this is who I am.
This thing that I am in charge of should be easy. The people involved were at first excited and had no trouble communicating. Then last weekend happened. All previous communications somehow became void and I was the enemy. I was not a friend with power, I was not even an acquaintance with power. I was the devil incarnate. Because of my new identity I was faced with a lack of cooperation and a lot of irritated words.
The end of the story involves me being left with $100 worth of crap to buy, some tired friends, and a long and incapacitating anxiety attack. Thank you, world.
The point is, authority sucks. I didn't exactly want it in the first place but I took it on anyways and regardless of how laid-back I was it still punched me in the face when I lost it. Moral of the story: Don't take on responsibilities. Ever. Just give up now. Go live in the woods and raise an army of badgers. That's my new plan.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Today I lose something, and I find something. Ultimately, this is true every day, but I don't always know what those somethings are. Today I know what they are. Today, I am conscious of what I have lost and what I will find, and with a retrospective analysis of yesterday--which was the worst day I've had in a very long time--I think that this lost and this found are well deserved.
I am not going to class. I have done my homework, typed it out. I have read the textbook. I have memorized terms and pondered what the professor could possibly ask me about what I've learned. But I am not going to class. I have a migraine.
I have had this migraine since Saturday. One might assume that because I'm a lowly college student with loads of homework assignments and papers and chapters to read, I would appreciate a decently long Saturday to rest myself in. However, this last Saturday was particularly unpleasant and thus began the migraine that has yet to exit my body.
So I am not going to class. Opportunity to learn is gone, I have lost 3 hours of knowledge (because there are two classes I'm skipping.) LOST! But not forgotten...? I'm sure someone will share their knowledge with me. These 300 level classes are full of my friends.
And yet, all is not lost. Missing class is not my favorite thing to do, especially if the cause is illness, but there is always a bright spot in the shadow of loss. Because you see, by losing class time, I gain rest. I gain the time to sleep and dream away this migraine. I find respite within the cave of my blankets.
Goodnight. Or, afternoon.