Sunday, May 6, 2012

And the livin' is easy

I realized, possibly just a few days ago, that my summer will potentially be very quiet, mostly uneventful, and peaceful. It seems the "nothingness" I am so desperate for may actually be within reach--and in the most perfect way. Basically, the way this happened, is that Joey got a summer job, and we might get a small apartment in the middle of the woods. The rent is cheap (unbelievably cheap) and the elderly landlady seems very sweet. We'll find out on Monday if she wants us to move in or not.

 The other half of this "potential nothing-filled summer" comes from Joey's second job. It was already expected that he would get the car most of the summer for work, since he'll be a trainer soon with more expectations and responsibilities etc. etc. etc. In a fit of panic and bewilderment, (because of suddenly being told we had to move out, not having money for the rent because we paid for me to take my content area test in June, needing to see a doctor badly, more etc.) Joey applied for several jobs in the area and got one at Target. He came home from Panera early on April 27th, and told me he had a Target interview at 3pm. I went out for coffee with a friend and he called me at 4:45 to tell me he had another job!

So now he has two jobs. Which means more money. Which also means two places to drive to, more gas, and that's just for one person. It also means that any plans I had about getting a summer job for myself are out of the picture, because this car is already over ten years old and driving it nonstop all day for three months in the Chicago summer just sounds like a bad idea. AND we would never see each other, which we already did for the first 2 years of our relationship. (except then we were in different states. oy.) And the rent is cheap enough that, with Joey's two jobs and the raise once he becomes a trainer this month, we won't even need the extra income. Just extra sleep for him.

With all that said, I have concluded that I won't be getting a job. It wouldn't make any sense. AND I DON'T REALLY WANT ONE. Did I type that out loud?

I'm really looking forward to living.... well, somewhere else. I sincerely hope that the sweet landlady considers us as good renters and calls us tomorrow (yes, it's already Sunday, by George) and tells us she'll be happy for us to move in later in June. It's in the middle of a beautiful nature preserve, which we get to help take care of in exchange for crazy-low rent. I cannot wait to just sit among the trees all day, writing and drawing and just being. I also believe (and this is the first time I am admitting this to anyone but my own hopeful heart) that with the low rent we may actually be able to fly home--before my parents move out to North Carolina. Oh yeah. That's happening too. My hope is that we can fly home and help them drive back. It's a complicated idea. We'll see how it goes.

Basically I'm just in the midst of one large crisis or transition after another and I feel like after we move it might actually stop. I might get to just be.

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