Today is not my day.

I imagined today differently. I didn't imagine anything specific, but I did imagine it differently. I suppose it started yesterday, things not going the way I thought they would.

My husband started his new job last week, and yesterday he had his first closing shift. We're used to closing shifts. When he worked as a pizza delivery guy, he was often home late. He didn't work that far from home, so it was easier, but we do know how they work. We miss each other. But it's normal. So he told me he would be off at 1am, and somehow I got it into my head that he would be home by 1am. 

As I'm sure you can guess, 1am came and went and he was not home and wasn't answering his phone. I had been restlessly sleeping when he called to tell me he was done, and on his way home. When he arrived he was exhausted--partially because we'd both been to the blood drive earlier that day, but also because he'd worked for 8, almost 9 hours. He also had a fever of 100.3.

We set an alarm to get up for church, because he had to go to a class during the first service. I planned on sleeping in the car. But instead we woke up and felt awful and more exhausted than we'd felt in months and so he e-mailed a friend whom we'd intended on meeting after church and we went back to sleep.

Since then it's just been an "off" day. And I could explain why, but I won't. I just feel sort of sad about some things and angry about some things and happy about a few things, but nothing is really striking me as, "Man, I'm so thankful for __________ today!" Nope. It's just not happening.

So today, I'm thankful for small things. I'm thankful for the massively comfortable blanket on my bed, which would have cost (at least) $120 in real life, but I got it for $2.50 at a Salvation Army. I'm thankful for my cup of apple cider, which is full of vitamin C. I'm thankful for this little devotional book that a dear friend gave me as a graduation present. I'm thankful that, despite a terrible and terrifying situation, my best friend and her husband are alright. And I'm thankful that a month from right now, I'll be at home, safe and loved in the company of my family.

End Day 17. Tomorrow will be kinder.