Papa.

There's a scene in the 1995 version of A Little Princess, the one where Sara Crewe is preparing to say goodbye to her father indefinitely. You all know the one. She and Captain Crewe are sitting by the window, and wordlessly Sara begins tracing the lines of her father's face. He asks if she's memorizing him by heart, and she replies, "I already know you by heart." Later, after Captain Crewe is presumed dead and Sara has been working as a servant, there is that memorable night when she flees to the house next door and sees an injured man--but she knows it's him. It doesn't matter that he's scarred by the war (in more ways that one) and doesn't remember her, but Sara has him memorized--his face, his eyes, his heart. She knows who her father is.

My father's face in this photo looks the same then as it does now. His hair is obviously much grayer now, there are more smiley wrinkles around his eyes, but he's the same. Don't ask me how that works... I think it's just the way a daughter sees her father. I think it has something to do with looking up to the same man you're entire life.

Today, I am thankful for my papa. (For the record, I didn't start calling him that until I was 17, and I don't even remember why.) I know that there are plenty of inadequate fathers out there, fathers who neglect their children or abuse them or just don't love them very well. But I can be thankful for mine, regardless.

Perhaps one reason I am most thankful for him is because there are times I truly feel I do have him memorized by heart, like little Sara. And how do I know I've memorized him? Well, because I can tell you that he could easily convince anyone he's a genius--he doesn't know everything, but he can persuade you that he does. I can tell you with all sincerity that despite any outward reservation my father is an idealist at heart. He has big dreams and ideas and schemes and if you let him, he'll do the craziest, most endearing things. I can tell you that he is compassionate and genuinely cares about people, but you might not know it unless he feels like he's disappointed someone because then he gets kind of grumpy. He has an immense sense of justice, something I definitely inherited, which causes a lot of righteous anger and ranting about awful commercials on television. His creativity has inspired mine, his love for God has inspired mine, his just-plain-awesomeness has inspired mine--mostly because he has often said, "You'd have to be 10 times as awesome as you are right now to even comprehend how awesome I am." He usually says that when he's annoyed by teenagers. 

I know I talked about my childhood yesterday but I really would like to emphasize that my father was behind a lot of my artistic adventures. One summer we made a box together, like a little wooden chest, which required many trips to the hardware store and I learned how to use an electric sander and got to paint it. He was always encouraging me to write stories and read new books and go "outside my comfort zone." It's possible that he (and my mother) realized my potential for awesomeness equal to his, and wanted to push me in that direction because nobody else would.

So, in hopes that your father is as incredible as mine, be thankful for your father (or your daddy, your dad, your Papa), and for fathers everywhere. 

End Day 15. Tomorrow, my mother!